


Too Big

by darklockd



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Big Brother Mycroft, M/M, PTSD Sherlock, Underage Rape, wasn't a very good big brother
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-23
Updated: 2016-04-23
Packaged: 2018-06-04 00:50:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6634375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darklockd/pseuds/darklockd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Something terrible happened to Sherlock when he was a kid and John helps him recover.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Too Big

**Author's Note:**

> Mycroft isn't a good guy in this one, there will be underage holmescest mentioned but its rape so dont read if that bothers you

John is downstairs getting his morning coffee after taking a shower when he hears it, Sherlock is calling out in his sleep. He knocks but Sherlock doesn't answer so he pushes the door open. "Too big," his flatmate is moaning and John hurries over when he sees him thrashing around under the sheets. "Sherlock," he says softly then louder when Sherlock doesn't answer.

When he finally wakes up John tells him what he said and how it was a nightmare and Sherlock just scoffs and tells him he doesn't remember the dream or nightmare, he just goes to the bathroom and slams the door shut. Since its a glass door John can see him when he kneels down and puts his hands up to his face and the way is body is shaking. But if Sherlock doesn't want to talk about it he won't so John hesitates for a few minutes, but then he leaves and gets ready for his shift at the clinic. He thinks about talking to his girlfriend Sarah about it but decides Sherlock would probably get mad at him so he decides not to.

It happens again a couple weeks later, only this time Sherlock isn't just calling out he's screaming for help and John bursts into the room wishing he had his gun, expecting its someone actually attacking his friend. But its not, its just Sherlock having another nightmare but he can't seem to wake up from this one so John grabs him and lies down on top of him to stop his thrashing. Sherlock seems even more scared at first but John keeps talking to him in a quiet soothing voice and stroking his hair and eventually Sherlock does calm down. Now hes wimpering and John snuggles him closer and Sherlock finally sighs and puts his arms around him. "Safe," he said as he drifted back to sleep. JOhn stays with him until he wakes up, and this time hes not leaving until Sherlock tells him whats going on.

Sherlock wakes up to find himself curled in John's arms, feeling safe and warm and loved even though he knows John doesn't want him that way. At least that's what he thinks until he realizes that John has a nice big hardon pressing against his ass. He wiggles a bit and John moans but that's a mistake because then John wakes up and scoots away looking all embarassed when Sherlock turns to face him. "It's all good," he reminds his friend but John frowns.

"I'm here because you had another fucking nightmare Sherlock and I couldn't wake you up. Now what's going on and don't tell me you don't remember. You said 'too big' again and you sounded like you were in pain and you were yelling for help."

Sherlock shuddered and turned away but John reached out and wrapped his arms around him again. "You seem like you feel safe with me," he whispers. "I'm your friend Sherlock, please tell me."

Sherlock starts crying; he feels so ashamed and so angry but this is John and he trusts John, so he tells the truth. "I was 8 and Mycroft was 15. He used to do drugs John, that's why he gets so pissed off when I do them because he knows how bad it can be." John doesn't like Sherlock's big brother and nothing hes saying now makes him like him any better. He braces himself because he thinks it'll be even worse. And it is because Sherlock tells him, "I was 8 and he was high and I had a nightmare. Mum and dad were away, they didn't know about the drugs or they wouldn't of left me with him. But they did and when I had the nightmare I got into his bed. He was naked and he told me I could stay but I had to take my clothes off too because they were too rough. I guess his skin was super sensitive because of whatever he took, but he was my brother and I trusted him so I did what he said. I was sucking my thumb and he said it might make me feel better if I had something bigger to suck and he pushed my head between his legs."

Sherlock couldn't go on but John just held him closer. "Did he make you suck his dick?" he asks very quietly, feeling his rage at Sherlock's brother growing with every word. Even if it was when he was high and a teenager it doesn't matter, he still did something terrible to his baby brother. Even when Harriet is super drunk she would never even think of molesting John or anyone else, no matter how nasty her temper gets when she's drinking.

Sherlock nods and trembles, reaching out to pull John closer, clutching him like he's 8 again. "I tried to tell him no," he whispers. "I told him it was too big but he just pushed it inside my mouth and fucked my mouth until he came. Then he passed out and I got sick in the hallway on the way to my bed. He had to clean it up the next day and at first he didn't believe me and called me a liar. But then he checked out his bed and found my hairs and realized I was telling the truth. He never said he was sorry but he never did drugs again after that. I pushed that all down in my memory but I guess I didn't delete it, I didn't know how to delete things until I was a lot older.  


"So what triggered it, why did you remember it now," John asks. Sherlock is nestled in his arms now and he realizes that he feels comfortable like this. He thinks about the hardon he had when Sherlock woke him up and he blushes but decides not to worry about it. This is about Sherlock and helping him not about John realizing he might not be as straight as he always thought he was.

Sherlock shocks him by looking him square in the eye and saying, "I guess it started when I started fantasizing about you John. I've been imagining what it would be like to suck your dick, to let you fuck me and I guess it scared me, made the memories come back." Then he smiles and John is amazed to see him blushing. "But now that they're out in the open I think I can finally get past them. And all because of you John Watson. You keep me right." He leans forward and kisses him and John shocks himself by kissing him back. It's not a passionate frenzy or anything, but their tongues are in each others mouths and they're holding each other close, so close John can feel Sherlock's dick getting harder. "This isn't the right time," he gasped as he pulls away. "You just had a kind of breakthrough Sherlock, we shouldn't start anything yet."

Sherlock pouts and says "But I'm ready John. I want this. I know why I told you I was married to my work now even though I really wanted you even that first night." He strokes a hand down John's cheek and John swallows hard at the way it feels. His stomach tightens and his dick reacts even though he tries to will his hardon away. "I know you want me to John, don't lie and say you don't. You know I don't even have to feel this" he puts his hand on John's dick and strokes it through his pajama pants "to know that."

John swallows again, then suddenly he's kissing Sherlock, forgetting all about Sarah and anything else except how much he wants the other man. He has plans to beat Mycroft within an inch of his life the next time he sees him but he doesn't tell Sherlock that. He probably already deduced it but that's something for later. Right now all he can think about is Sherlock and how much he wants him, how much he loves him even if he hasn't said the words and isn't sure he ever will. "Tell me you'll let me," Sherlock moans as John starts tugging his clothes off.

"Yes" he growls as soon as they're naked. He looks at Sherlock and says the words that caused him pain in the past. "You need something bigger to suck, Sherlock." Only now its healing he's after. Sherlock smiles a brilliant smile and lets John shove his head down between his legs. As soon as his lips close around the head of John's dick he closes his eyes and starts to groan with pleasure. Fuck, the man is brilliant just like John always knew he would be, good at anything he decides to do and even if this is the first time John's had his dick sucked by another man hes just glad it's Sherlock. "Oh baby, yeah, just like that" he groans and Sherlock sucks harder, working John's dick into his throat and digging his fingers into his ass.

John starts to move a bit, thrusting his hips up in time to Sherlock's bobbing head, watching his dick disappear and reappear and feeling his balls clenching in anticipation. He won't last long but he's determined to return the favor just as soon as he cums. "Soon" he gasps and Sherlock moves faster, sucking even harder as John digs his fingers into his messy, sweaty curls unti he bucks his hips up sharply feeling his cum shooting into that hot wet mouth. Sherlock makes a whining needy noise and John sees stars explode behind his eyes as he finishes shooting his load.

After a few minutes he recovers enough to see Sherlock resting his head on his thigh and strokes his hair. "Good boy," he murmurs and Sherlock smiles shyly at him.

Then John flips him on his back and whispers "My turn" and Sherlock is moaning and gasping while John puts his mouth on his dick. He's never done this before so he's a little clumsy at first but he knows what he likes and he makes sure to do that to Sherlock. He sucks the red head of his dick into his mouth a few times, then strokes his balls, not surprise to find that Sherlock is into manscaping and is completely hairless down there. He then licks his shaft and feels Sherlock squirming, then takes his balls into his mouth one at a time, suckling them like they were sweets. And they are to him. He wonders what it would be like to give Sherlock a rim job but decides to save that for next time, maybe when they're taking a shower together. He knows that's when Sarah likes to have her ass licked. He feels a little guilty thinking about his soon-tp-be-exgirlfriend but just hopes it doesn't cost him his job. Then he forgets about her completely and concentrates on the person he really wants, moving his mouth up and taking Sherlock's dick back into his mouth. He can't swallow him down as deep as Sherlock did but he does his best and uses his hands on the bottom half, stroking in time to the movements of his mouth while Sherlock pants and groans and calls out his name. "I'm cumming," he shouts, lifting his hips and John pulls his mouth away. He's not ready to swallow, not yet, but knows that will come with practice. But he feels Sherlock's hot cum cover his lips and chin and doesn't wipe it away when he leans down to kiss the other man. Sherlock doesn't seem to care and John feels himself getting hard again. God sex with Sherlock is going to be nothing but fantastic he thinks as Sherlock licks his own cum off of John's face.

"Better?" he asks when they are lying curled in each other's arms again. Sherlock is softly stroking his dick and John is tryng not to moan, trying to concentrate on making sure the other man really is OK now.

"Much," Sherlock says and kisses him slow and hot. "You're not too big John, you're just right. Just right for me." Then he grins and says "Oh and when you punch the shit out of Mycroft make sure to get in a few good hits for me, alright?"

"They'll all be for you, every one," John assures him with a loving kiss. "Bastard's had it coming for a long time, I don't care how much he's tried to make up for it since."

Then he kisses Sherlock again and they spend the rest of the day pretending the outside world and especially Mycroft Holmes don't exist.

**Author's Note:**

> My sister edited this for me so thanks to her!


End file.
